


Saving Bilbo

by hany_yy



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Afterlife, Fíli and Kíli Live, M/M, Mahal's Halls, Thorin Dies, Thorin watching over Bilbo, Thorin's thoughts, songfic(kinda)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-07-18 21:18:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7331014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hany_yy/pseuds/hany_yy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by Brantley Gilbert's Saving Amy.<br/>The Battle of Five Armies is over and Thorin has died and gone to Mahal's halls. While he regrets the fact that he's not with his beloved Bilbo, he's at least thankful that he can watch over him while he waits for them to be reunited. Brief mentions of Fili, Kili and Dis, also Frerin and Dis' husband.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Saving Bilbo

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing but the plot. This is Thorin's thoughts, so it is not necessarily a fluent continuation. I am sorry for that, I tried to make it as fluent as possible.

I once made a promise to one Bilbo Baggins, that I would love him forever. Our time together was cut short because of my shortcomings as a leader and a beloved. That, however, did not mean that I stopped loving him. After my death I continued on to the halls of Mahal, where my forefathers all resided. There were also my brother, and Dis’ husband. Despite having these people I’d missed for decades, I was lonelier than ever before. My heart ached for the distance between me and my beloved, and I cursed my death many times over.

However, there was one good thing about being in Mahal’s halls. The fact that I can look back on Middle Earth and see how my hobbit is doing. Now don’t get me wrong, I’d much rather be living my life alongside him, but as I am not, I’m glad I at least have this. I hope one day we’ll be reunited again, but until then, I’m happy that my hobbit did not perish with me. He deserves to live his life. Although I don’t know if what he is doing could be called living. 

It’s been a year and he still wears the mithril shirt I gave him before the Battle. Every morning that shining piece of clothing is the first thing he puts on and I am glad for that. That means he’s always somehow safe from an attack. He also keeps a dagger on his person, thanks to Nori. Living in a mountain full of dwarves can be difficult for a hobbit, but I am glad the company convinced him to stay. At least this way I know he is surrounded by people who care about him, if he had gone back to the Shire, who knows how his life would’ve turned out. 

I know he’s still very sad about all that happened on that cursed day. He still wakes up to nightmares, screaming my name most nights. But the nightmares have gotten less severe, and he has Fili and Kili to help him through the nights that the pain gets too overwhelming. I am glad my nephews survived, that I didn’t lead them to their deaths, although it was a close call. At least they are there for my beloved, the blessed rascals. I’ll have to thank them when they finally join me here. Although I regret to see Fili has lost a lot of his happy-go-lucky personality since he’s become king way too soon, much like I did.

But back to Bilbo. I was so glad when I first looked upon him from here that he had decided to stay with the company in Erebor. Of course there is always the chance of Bilbo going back to his beloved Shire, but I doubt that. He’s got a family that cares for him in Erebor, which I can’t say for his actual flesh and blood back in the Shire.

My sister Dis has also helped Bilbo with his recovery. When she finally got to the mountain, she gave Bilbo a portrait of me in wooden frames. He keeps it on his nightstand so that when he goes to sleep the last thing he sees is my face. We both know it is not the same as having me there next to him, but it gives him the comfort he needs to get through the night, so I am thankful for that. Bilbo has found many ways to cope with his loss and I compliment him on that. He’s a strong hobbit, he’ll make it through this as a better person.  
I learned just how strong my hobbit was on the journey to Erebor, but I never knew he could be this strong. For sure if it had been me in his place, left to mourn the loss of him, I’d sure have perished long ago. I also know he couldn’t have done it without the company there to support him. I’ll have to think them too when they get here. That will hopefully not be anywhere in the near future. I’d rather suffer loneliness for many years to come in here and see my friends lead full, happy lives than have company by my dear friends dying before their times. 

Sometimes I wonder if Bilbo knows that I’d do anything to be with him. I’d love nothing more than to be there for him after his nightmares like Fili and Kili are and to kiss those tears from his eyes. I’d make up all the time we lost because of my stupid pride. And I will, once we are united again after his death, I will make up for all the time we lost. But for now, I contend myself with watching over him, because I promised him forever, even if this was not the kind of forever that I meant.

\-----  
Three years later:  
I have lessened the time I spend watching over Bilbo, instead spending it with my family members who are here with me. Still I watch Bilbo from time to time. He has luckily finally started living again. He has realized that even though I’m gone physically, I will never be truly gone. I will live on in his heart and his memories. That any time he wants to see me he need only close his eyes, or look at that picture on his nightstand. Not only that, if he wants to be with me, he can in his dreams. He shouldn’t have to, but at least he has those dreams. 

And all of this is worth it because I know we will be united once he joins me here. I know Mahal will not deny me the pleasure of an eternal life with my beloved just because he is not a dwarf. Plus, since his creator was the wife of mine, I think Mahal will make the exception. I’ll just have to be patient and wait for Bilbo’s time.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are cookies to my soul.


End file.
